Fall is the best time of year. It brings
2) The much underrated color, orange.
3) General coziness.
4) Coziness meaning laziness.
5) Scary movies.
6) Okay, only a certain level of scary movies.
7) Like, my best friend loves Rob Zombie and his wife and would marry them both in a blood-soaked, human-sacrificial ceremony if the law permitted, but I can’t deal with him or his films because he pretty much recreates my nightmares on screen.
8) So when I say scary movies, I mean thrillers and the classics like Psycho or Halloween (which, let’s be real, is the best horror film of all time).
9) Or I also love that real kitschy shit like Pet Semetary 2 and Tales From the Darkside.
10) Okay, goddamn Gina, focus.
11) What I started this post to say was I love Autumn because it’s amazing for a lot of reasons but this year is going to be especially wonderful because of the amount of gigantic books coming out. After 10ish years, Jonathan Safran Foer has a new novel. Zadie Smith is going to be back in the game. Ian McEwan is gracing us with his presence. Maria Semple is serving up something new. And to top it all off, Bryan Cranston and Anna Kendrick are giving us mere mortals a glimpse into their lives.
12) So basically, I’m gonna John Milton-it and read myself blind.
13) Which could in and of itself be a horror movie, if not a really, really boring one.
I cannot buy anything more for my apartment this month.
I know that. I really do.
But I figured, well, it doesn’t hurt to look. And that was true, until I saw this piece on Loveseat and felt my heart expand and then break a little at the thought that this cannot be mine.
Even if I had the money, it would be ridiculous to get a gold display case, especially since it would only be displaying books.
It’s best not to picture it in my house. It’s best not to imagine myself opening it to select a book to read to my grandchildren one day, because it’s the kind of piece that I would keep and cherish forever, and pass down to my children, and they would pass down to their children once they too leave this earth.
I will tell myself it is gaudy and would be too much in my home.
Yep. That’s what I’ll do.
Though it wouldn’t hurt to look at coffee tables while I’m already on the app…
A few days ago, I was furniture shopping and I learned something very important about myself. I am a master negotiator.
The thing is, there’s really nothing to it. Like, literally nothing. I don’t say a word. I stand and look at the piece I want, then look back at the person selling the item, then look back at the piece. Sometimes I make a little throaty-humming noise, awkwardly press my hand to my cheek or neck, and look around.
Ten times out of ten, the salesperson feels so uncomfortable, they offer to lower the price. This is a really important moment. They’ll expect you to talk, BUT YOU STILL DON’T. Maybe look at them with a scrunched up forehead. Repeat the Tina Belcheresque groan. Cock your head to the side and hunch your shoulders. Stare at them for a minute too long.
Then they fold. They always do.
Your awkwardness is hard to handle and they’ll be more than ready to bow out of the interaction as soon as possible. You can wait it out–you’ve been training for this your whole damn life.
That is how I ended up with these gorgeous pieces:
The media stand is technically an old record player holder. The front drawers are fake and do not open, so it’s maybe not the most functional piece BUT I DONT CARE I LOVE IT SO GODDAMN MUCH.
And you know how when you were a kid and would go to your grandparents’ house, there was always that one chair you weren’t allowed to sit in because it was your grandpa’s? Like exclusively his? And it was kind of a little too imposing and large and smack dab in the middle of the room? That is the relationship I plan on establishing with this beautiful, golden work of art.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go. I have a lot of sitting to do.
Hello world. Did you know that there has only been one black female senator in the history of these beautiful United States of America? Did you also know that there have been zero Indian senators, male or female, in said gorgeous country of ours?
Did you also also know that Kamala Harris is both black and Indian and just got one step closer to making those facts void?
That’s pretty cool. Glad I could help with that.
In other fun news, for the first time ever, it seems that two Democrats will make it to the California senatorial showdown come November. And not just that, two LADY Democrats. AND NOT JUST, NOT JUST THAT–TWO MINORITY LADY DEMOCRATS.
Way to go, California. You’re making your girl proud.