Yo Momma

Apparently, Groupon thinks my mom is fat. I got an email with recommendations “JUST for Mom” and they were all liposuction and tummy slimming deals. It’s super fucking rude; they could have just suggested different painting and wine classes, though I guess that would defeat their goal of having her slim down as wine is high in calories.

So now I have to find out where Groupon is based and go fight them. This is not how I was planning on spending my weekend.


Au Revoir


Am I

A) finally learning to play guitar


B) burning off my fingertips so I can fake my own death and run away to live a simple life in the south of France, free from debt and the shackles of modern society once and for all?

Knowing me, it’s really anyone’s guess.