My boyfriend recently made fun of me, which was pretty weird because usually I’m the one making fun of him. I was complaining to him about the delay on my package from Target. When he asked what I was waiting for, I told him–foil, mascara, shampoo, drano, every little household item I was too busy* to go out and buy. Now, I’m not one to go and throw around the “shaming” word, but the look he gave me and the ensuing, seemingly endless laughter will stick with me for quite some time.
Regardless, he got me to thinking. Maybe it was silly of me, buying foil from the internet, especially when the day I bought it was the day I immediately needed it. I was hosting Girl’s Night Handmaid’s Tale Bingeathon, and was forced to cook our Trader Joe’s flatbreads directly on the cookie sheets. I LITERALLY had to put the flatbreads STRAIGHT on the pans, dirtying them, forcing me to have to wash them later rather than just throwing them back in the oven after a cursory wipe with a paper towel. When will the inconveniences end?
Today I decided enough was enough and stopped at Target on my way home from the gym. And that’s when I realized just why I was right all along, as always, SUCK IT, JOHN. While I went in for a $3.99 item, I ended up leaving with $54.67 of merchandise. I passed the clothes on my way to the kitchen supplies and remembered that I was running low on clean underwear and was too busy** to do the laundry. I threw some in the cart. I saw the clearance and while leafing through, I found a shirt for $2.40 (not complaining about this one, just wanted to show off my sweet deal). I threw that in the cart. From there, the Siren song of the wine aisle pulled me in, followed by the 2 for $5 ice cream, and before I knew it, I was upstairs, getting a scooper for my Caramel Cone Swirl, some adorable baby mason jars, and a gorgeous bronze and pink mug as a treat to myself for how hard I work.***
So not to shame the shamer, but clearly I was right and will be sticking to online ordering for the forseeable future.
*** I really don’t.