A-a-r-d-v-a-r-k

My boyfriend was flipping through channels this morning trying to find the World Cup, and happened upon Arthur. Clearly we (I) decided Arthur was more important than sports, so we stopped to watch it.

At one point in the episode, Muffy’s butler pulled out his cell, and rather than the clunky, Zac Morris-esque brick I was expecting, it turned out to be AN iPHONE.

Now, I was under the impression that this show was firmly rooted in the 90s. Have they continued production since the time I stopped watching it in 1998? Is there a 20 year backlog of episodes I have yet to see? More importantly, is there an updated White House episode where DW straight up chills with Biden and Obama?

I hope so. That’s what the world needs right now.

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Yo Momma

Apparently, Groupon thinks my mom is fat. I got an email with recommendations “JUST for Mom” and they were all liposuction and tummy slimming deals. It’s super fucking rude; they could have just suggested different painting and wine classes, though I guess that would defeat their goal of having her slim down as wine is high in calories.

So now I have to find out where Groupon is based and go fight them. This is not how I was planning on spending my weekend.

Au Revoir

LAZY GIRL POLL:

Am I

A) finally learning to play guitar

or

B) burning off my fingertips so I can fake my own death and run away to live a simple life in the south of France, free from debt and the shackles of modern society once and for all?

Knowing me, it’s really anyone’s guess.

Bad cookie

This morning upon waking I weighed myself, and found I was 3 pounds lighter.

I was ecstatic, I have been having such trouble dropping weight.

To reward myself, I had a cookie for breakfast.

I’m now seeing what the real problem is.

Julie Roberts Ruins Everything

This picture is evidence that I need to go ahead and reset my Netflix password because my mother watching Julia Roberts movies is really screwing up my algorithm, but also, couldn’t this category just be called Middle Aged Women Tilting Their Heads and Looking Dreamily Into the Horizon?

It’s Mrs. Snakehole to You

Today I found myself switching from Neutral Milk Hotel to the Monster Mash station on Pandora and I realized I’m one evil glare away from becoming April Ludgate.

(Actual image of me at work)

This is further solidified by the fact that I will be dressing as Janet Snakehole for Halloween. Life imitating art? I think so.